Three Kids & A Pot of Cold Tea

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

1 Timothy 5:5
The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.

Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

We are officially through the life without 'care' season of our lives. It feels very much like the end of a time and the beginning of a new time.

Pre-school has come like summer rain. With the promise of refreshment for all but not without a rumbling thunderstorm in the clouds before the rain washes everything clean.

Our 3yo has gone off happily and overnight has blossomed. He has been waiting for this. He feels very special and very grown up.

Our 2yo was sad for a day or two and now is thrilled to have mum (and the toys) to himself. He is also now willing to back off a little and give his brother special time with his parents alone, something he could never do.

The baby has benefited from the slowness of days and the quieting of her mother and the new responsibility of her 2yo brother.

The house is starting to look cared for again.

The six weeks prior were very long. Lots of illness, lots of kids fighting (frustrated, bored and sick) and in me lots of anger. Anger, bitterness and unforgiveness. Ugly, ugly sin. I realise now my hard heartedness, I have held on to a lot of this for 3 1/2 years since I had my first child, and it wasn't until two days before pre-school that I was brought to my knees to see it and to repent. I've always been a last minute kind of girl but I marvel at the patience of God, letting me scrape in just before the season ended.

Beautiful kids' designer market if you are free and in Sydney ......

Allie's Attic

10am-3pm Saturday 13 February, 2010

Mosman Art Gallery & Community Centre

Cnr Art Gallery Way & Myahgah Rd

Mosman NSW 2088 - FREE ENTRY

Handmade, unique and original designs.

My neighbour Rachel is exhibiting.

Allie is running a competition to win $100 voucher, to spend on the day, on her blog.

If you are not available, or elsewhere, check out her other market dates.

A few times in the last two weeks we have done a pre-school preparation practice run. I've made the kid's the lunches and morning teas before breakfast. It makes the day so simple.

Today I got up at 6.00am with the kids (my husband has been letting me doze till seven on week days for a long time now, since I do a 5.00am feed) made the kids' lunches, my husband's lunch and even my own lunch. I then had time to prepare some steamed veg for the baby without too much hassle. By 7.00am we were all ready to sit down and eat & the day was looking a lot simpler. The kids also get a much more balanced meal because I have lots of compartments in their lunch boxes to fill!

I have really enjoyed being able to be with the kids without needing to start preparing food when they are getting hungry & getting grumpy.

During rest time today I have been able to pre-cook the dinner thanks to some good advice in the comments on my last post. Thanks Again!

This is not easy but so rewarding for all. We struggle to do it well. However, this weekend my husband and I have again seen the benefits of dividing to conquer.

My 7mo daughter has come away with me. Having discovered on Thursday that she could commando crawl, only after she disappeared and was discovered under a lounge, I am really excited to be spending precious, undivided time together.

I have also discovered that she can walk holding onto my fingers and she has spent a lot of the day up and rocking on all fours. It is a real treat for her to be allowed to stay on the floor a long while and for mum to be there too. It's an activity that often ends abruptly at home. We have also enjoyed a lot of 'face to face' time. Not just 'I'm holding you but I'm doing something else time."

The boys are having a 'boys party weekend' at home ...with jelly!

On Friday my husband rang me from work & said, "Go to your parents for the weekend and take the baby. Come back refreshed." Praise God for him.

Friday was one of those bizarre slow motion days when you see everything from the outside. I watched myself, exhausted, drag myself through the day, experience every high & low possible, enjoy my children, then wish, in the next moment, that someone would come to take them away, get housework done, get nothing done, laugh, cry, speak gently, then snap, and yell angrily. I think you could say I was on the knife edge all day with little and large slips to either side at different times.

I was amazed that even though he wasn't there, my husband knew. I couldn't keep going and it was not good to keep trying.

For the past three weeks of illness I have had a rest on Mondays (my parents help out). Then good days Tuesday, Wednesday but then floundered on Thursday and Friday. Saturday & Sunday have helped me pick up again only to repeat the process the following week. The cough continues although the infection is gone.

However, the tiredness is all consuming and I am sapped of creative ideas for caring for my kids. I've seen myself becoming anxious and angry and not being able to do anything about it. I've even had insomnia, something I have never before experienced.

The hardest part has been that my illness has coincided with my 2yo giving up his day sleep (it seems to be a permanent thing) and behaving badly in his tiredness. All my efforts to implement room time or quiet time have been inconsistent because of my energy levels and his resistance.

At the same time all my positive parenting, boundary setting, giving choices and having clear consequences has disappeared. Instead I have turned into Chameleon Mum, completely inconsistent - I'm sure my kids wonder "What will she be like today?" (The experience is helping me to 'forgive' and understand my own parents even more. We do the best we can at the time.)

Thanks to all who are praying & to those who have sent meals. They have been very much appreciated. God willing, I'll be on my feet and in my right mind again soon.

Yesterday I had an appointment with the GP and an appointment with the Naturopath. During both appointments there were moments when I thought, "Why didn't I think of that?". The answer? I haven't been thinking carefully about my own health for a few years now.

I have been careful that my kids get all they need, food, water, sleep, exercise, extra supplements. I have made sure my husband gets the same and yet there are days when I get very little of all of the above.

You could call it selfless, but really it is mostly disorganized and a bit matyrish. I tend not to think about myself at the same time, when it would be ideal (that's the disorganized part.) For example I give everyone their vitamins & minerals etc every morning first thing but don't take mine at the same time. I make everyone else' lunch but only think about my own once everyone else has finished.

Then because the kids have moved on to the next thing I tend to do that too until I get so hungry, I get cranky and have to eat. I don't take my vitamins at all until last thing at night. Similarly, I insist on early nights for my kids but let myself stay up till after 10 when that is clearly too late for someone who gets up at 5am everyday.

It was good to go. Especially to the Naturopath who took me through everything I do. The doctor made me realise part of my coughing is asthmatic, a sign that things are pretty low in my system. It was a good wake up call.